Attract Your Perfect Relationship

Simon is 35 and  has been divorced for 2 years.  He’s ready for a new relationship but he hasn’t a clue how or where to start and by his own admission, his flirting skills are pretty rusty.
Liz is 42 and has carved  out a great career but it has been at the expense of developing a loving and lasting relationship. Most of her friends are married and she hasn’t had a relationship for three years.  Liz wants to find a man before it’s too late.

Liz and Simon are typical of the people who come to the Flirting Academy for help either via private coaching or by attending a flirting playshop, and like many before them they got more than they anticipated!

What is flirting?

You’ve probably got some frivolous associations attached to the word flirting.  Flirting is not a bad thing, or something you shouldn’t do.    I believe that flirting is a natural skill of human interaction that is an essential part of finding and developing romantic, social and professional relationships.

Psychology Today agree with me.  In a 15-page special on flirting they wrote:

“We flirt with the intent of assessing potential partners, to have sex and when we’re not looking for either.  We flirt because flirtation can be a liberating form of play, a game with suspense and ambiguities that brings joys of its own”.

When we flirt first with ourselves and then with others, we create a ‘feel good’ effect that spreads to everyone around us and they in turn are irresistibly drawn to us.   Imagine what it would be like to feel good about yourself on a regular basis.   And then imagine what it would be like being able to interact with strangers and people around you in such a way that you make them feel great too.

You are a natural-born flirt!

Most of us believe that some people are naturally gifted with those skills and others have to learn them.  I prefer to think that we were all born with these skills, and that some of us had them well-meaningly but erroneously taught, parented or friended out of us!  Spend time with any baby and you will discover that they are all naturally flirtatious.

As we grew up, some of us got positive messages about flirtatious behaviour, while many of us were told to shut up, stop showing off and stop drawing attention to ourselves.  If we sung our own praises it was called boasting.   Some of us were told that we weren’t attractive.  Many of the negative messages we got as children are unproductive and continue to replay in our minds and stop us from being naturally flirtatious. In my flirting classes we teach people how to get back to the way they were before they learned how not to be like that!

Single again?

Often after the break up of a relationship you feel vulnerable, alone and  unloved.  It seems as if everyone in the world but you has a partner and sometimes you may despair of ever finding love again.     This is an illusion and merely a product of your own thought processes.   It is a dangerous fantasy and can lead to self deprecation and lack of self worth.   When you adopt that attitude it leaks from every pore and people around you pick up the same signals you are giving to yourself.   The good news is that it can be changed.   That’s part of what we do on a flirting playshop.

How it all started

I started the Flirting Academy in 1998 after spending a lot of time attending personal development courses and obtaining qualifications in a field of psychology called ‘NLP’.   NLP is just one of the tools that I use to help you develop a positive attitude both towards yourself and being single.

The  Flirting Academy became a vehicle for me to share with others all the skills and attitudes I had learned during the last 10 years of personal growth work.

A few years ago, at the age of 48, I left my partner of 15 years.    I was suddenly faced with having to put into practice all the things I’d been teaching other people.   I had very little money, and chose to leave my comfortable home in London for my parent’s spare room.   Shortly after I rented flat in a seaside town.    Despite the upheaval and financial challenges, I saw being single as a chance for me to truly be myself at my best and not someone I thought my partner wanted me to be.

As soon as  I learnt to enjoy being single, I started to redesign my life, and using an Attraction Plan, started building new relationships.  I met someone because instead of feeling hopeless, I truly believed that the right man would come along at the right time in my life and it would be up to me to seize the day. This was all in accordance with the natural laws of attraction which I’d come across several times in different guises over the years.