Attract Your Perfect Relationship

We may be a bunch of converted Perrier drinkers, but the holidays is one of those times when temptation is all around.  The hottest guest at the office gathering is our old ‘buddy’ Mr Alcohol.  He’s the first one we make for when we arrive and often he’s the one we’re still chasing when the party winds down.

If you spend too long in Mr A’s company, you run the risk of waking the next day, not just with a bad head but with that awful sinking feeling that something happened at the party but you can’t quite remember.  And you know you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.   Don’t worry; you’ll be reminded soon enough, because you can guarantee some kind person is spreading the tale of your exploits.

As one who has consumed gallons of alcohol at office parties and committed and witnessed enough mind-boggling gaffes to fill a book, my advice is drink only enough to feel merry and as soon as you do, STOP.  If you must spend time with Mr A, try spending a little time with Mrs Snacks and Dr Water as well!  The office party is a time to keep your wits about you, not lose them completely.  Save the wild stuff for New Years Eve, safe in the company of friends who know you well!

The office party can be a great opportunity to develop relationships, get better acquainted with that person you’ve been drooling over all year, get to know the boss, bond with your staff, and have a hoot with your colleagues.

Getting closer to the boss

At one office party in a well-known corporation I discovered the CEO, signing his name in felt pen on the twin jewels of one his employees. That’s NOT what I mean by betting closer to the boss.

The Holidays is a time to give presents. And if you enjoy your work, and the company of your colleagues, you have a whole closet full of goodies to dole out that won’t cost you a dime. I’m talking about ‘compliments’ and ‘thank you’s’. Use the party as an opportunity to informally tell people how much you appreciate them.    It’s an opportunity to look back on the good times during the year and get them feeling good about the future.

The office party is also a fantastic opportunity to interact with the people who count in a friendly relaxed environment.    This is NOT brownnosing.  Strong and powerful people can sniff that out in a moment.   This is about keeping your power and acknowledging theirs.

Use the opportunity to make a connection, introduce yourself, say something complimentary about the organisation [you have to believe what you say] Your aim is to make them aware of who you are and leave them with positive feelings about YOU.     They will be much more receptive to you whenever you need to approach them formally.

Getting closer to that special person

If you’ve been lusting after someone you work with, use the opportunity to find out if they really are a potential match for you.   A vague but honest introduction such as ‘I’ve seen you around and had this feeling I’d enjoy getting to know you better’…. works as well as any.   If they seem amenable, get to know what makes them tick, what they love doing, what’s important to them.

If your judgement is blurred by too much spirit-ual intake, you will miss or misinterpret their signals, and you might find yourself going further than is appropriate.

If your feelings are boiling over and you feel compelled to confess all, make sure to do it somewhere private, well beyond earshot of colleagues.  If you get a knockback, at least you’ll spare yourself the shame of public rejection and if romance does kick give it time to develop naturally before the office gossips take over.  A romance at work is a bit like a celebrity affair; it’s lived out in the limelight of the office fluorescents and broadcast on gossip TV. Be prepared!

Spreading the compliments of the season

The office gathering is also a great chance to mend fences, get to know someone who’s not like you or just get into the seasonal spirit of goodwill and peace by being nice to everyone for no good reason.

Bring your sack of compliments and give them out to everyone.  If someone’s hair looks good or you like something they’re wearing tell him or her.   If your employees have gone that extra mile or done some top work, tell them how much you appreciate them and give due praise for their special qualities. Don’t be like an accountant friend of mine who, when a client praised the cheeriness of his receptionist, made sure not to tell her ‘in case she got too bigheaded’.  Compliment the boss too. If he or she has helped you along, or manages you well, now’s the time to let them know how much you appreciate it.

If there are people you’ve clashed with, avoided or who appear very different from you, seek them out.   Find out about them.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I guarantee.    If their culture is different, ask them about what festivals they celebrate and what kind of special things they do and eat.    Ask them questions about how they spend their time out of the office; what they’re passionate about.  Smile, laugh and be nice for no good reason.

When you enter into the spirit of things in a less spirit-fuelled way you could have a fantastic experience that will set the tone for the year to come.

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