Attract Your Perfect Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘sensuality’

The 7 Emotional Gremlins and how to dissolve them

You know what I mean by voices in your head.  Everyone has them.  It’s your reaction to what’s going on around you moment by moment

Something happens, you take it in, your mind goes ‘I know what this means’ and the voices start.. and you label it  worry, envy, fear, criticism, anger, blame, shame . These are the 7 major gremlins that plague most of us.

The good news is you can stop those feelings and commentaries and when you do, all those great sensations, ideas, solutions and aha’s just flood in…

When you are present, the voices are not…

Now this isn’t necessarily easy but it is doable.  And even if you only get it once a day, that’s once a day more than before… these voices are pesky creatures and they put up a good fight…but you can silence them…and the more you practise, the quieter it gets…

 The key is to be present.  The ‘how’ will come as you read…

How often are you really here

Most of the time we’re not ‘here’. We’re thinking about what happened in the past or we’re planning or worrying about what might happen and sometimes we just zone out altogether.

Every time you have an accident whether it’s slipping, tripping, bumping into something or someone or something more serious, the chances are you weren’t fully present.   You were oblivious of what was going on around you..

When you’re worrying your backside off about this and that or putting yourself down, you aren’t here.  Well you are, but your ATTENTION is elsewhere and you miss all the cues and signals.

Cues and signals are out there all the time.   And when you learn to get present, you automatically pick up loads more signals. 

How useful is that?

Every moment you are consciously aware of yourself, in particular your physical body, BELOW the neck as well as above, is a moment you are present. 

Every time you notice you’re ‘away with the fairies’ or ‘zoned out’ you’re attention is NOT here and now.

Here and Now  is where the real juice flows. 

When you are fully aware of your body, when you can hear, see, feel, smell and taste everything as it goes on around you in REAL time… you are fully present.

Like this you are totally in the zone and ready for action..you are primed like a perfect mechanism to notice what’s going on around you AND as you become more adept, even to begin to sense in advance what’s about to happen, like Nicholas Cage in ‘Next’…..

Imagine being like this, feeling your body, aware of the little movements, your alignment, whether your neck is scrunched or not, how hunched or relaxed are your shoulders.. where do you feel tension in your muscles?

Can you lift your arm and feel that movement begins somewhere other than your arm…check out  and as you notice your breathing, where does it appear to go to.. your upper chest, your ribs or your belly?

How even is your breathing…slowly you can notice where it goes and how it flows..simply by putting your attention on it…. and even as you do your senses heighten

Sensually Aware

Imagine being with someone you love like this.. sensing all the nuances… as you touch every part of their body, slowly, feeling the energy in your fingertips or lips as they feel your touch…and respond to you…

This isn’t the stuff of erotic writing.. this is what’s possible when you learn how to be present and stay zoned in…

And when your attention strays, as soon as you notice it you’re back again…so noticing is not an opportunity to go ‘darn it I wasn’t here’ it’s a clue to go ‘great, I noticed that means I’m here’ and stay a little longer!!

You are in the now, present, here when you have conscious awareness of our body,  feeling your feet on the ground, noticing your breathing consciously, feeling your hands touching the mouse, the pad or the keyboard…even now as you read this, you can put your attention on any part of your body.. and zone into it noticing the sensations and the surrounds and slowly move your attention anywhere you choose…breathing as you do.. rhythmically, slowly…

And when you learn how to do this you can also begin to zone into how you are when you’re being totally and utterly YOU at YOUR BEST.

My facilitator training consisted of a lot of somatic work. That means that there was a lot of attention put on becoming aware of our bodies and that of our clients. 

We were regularly directed to notice in particular how our body shifts as we start to remember and access the feelings of being at our best.

And the more I was ‘in my body’ attention on it, the more I began to notice the minute micro muscular shifts other people made… I was learning how to pick up movement by noticing where it began and adumbrating it… which means I learned to know where they were going to move before they did…

Loving Sensitivity Increases

So, like this what’s it like when you’re with someone you love, picking up signals from them, being ready for what comes up, not defensive, but relaxed and comfortable… not thinking about something else or immediately making stuff up, but slowing down enough to wait and leave a pause, a space, a gap in between one thought and the next…

 Imagine how many cross words, arguments or fights this might stop before they run away with us.

Imagine how sensitive you become to your lover.. in all ways…knowing how to move from the shifts and sounds they make…knowing just what they want.. sensing it…before they do..

Imagine when you’re just hanging out with people being able to pick up their signals more clearly and not making stuff about what you imagine they might be thinking… just noticing what you notice…cos you’re in REAL TIME

How much easier would it be to allow someone to approach you or to approach someone like that, not yapping bad stuff to yourself, but just putting your attention on your body and then on the other person fully…

You can learn to do this with yourself and other people..people…

Dissolving unwanted ‘emotional disturbances’

When you begin to feel one of the 7 gremlins starting up, simply put your attention on the physical sensations of the feelings as soon as you notice them and follow these sensations in your body as they move and change.  

 Like this you are unable to chatter garbage to yourself.  You are unable to chatter, you just ARE.   

And the more you do it the more you automatically begin to notice when you’re off much more quickly and are able to get back on track much more easily.

Do Yoga, Tai Chi, martial arts

I do yoga.  Yoga brings me into present awareness through my body as I focus my attention on the journey I make into a pose.. slowly  noticing the moves and synching them to my breathing..

I have found this to be of immense value….and advise all my clients to take up something like yoga, tai chi, chi kung or any martial art where they are directed to experience their body… 

I don’t know how to express strongly enough … that this truly is the key…  

When we are Present, the voices are not

Simple solution  in theory AND it’s the journey of a lifetime to monitor, notice and readjust back to here and now.. but the rewards are HUGE!!!

Just keep noticing where they begin and follow those feelings in your body NOT in your head