Attract Your Perfect Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

What if I told you that every relationship you attract is perfect even if it seems like a nightmare to you at the time.  When I say this to most of my clients, they do a double take.  

If all this sounds like one big paradox, then it’s probably because, like me, you were sold the illusion of what perfection is.  

I’m not suggesting you can’t meet someone really gorgeous who fulfils all the requirements on your Attraction Plan.   That is a total possibility AND it depends on how self-aware, self-correcting and evolved you are.     I am saying that the Law of Attraction isn’t quite as straightforward as some have professed.

Most of us have not yet ‘ascended’ to that place where life or anything else in it is perfect.   That’s because perfection is not some state you strive for, it’s in your attitude.  And I know, it’s not easy to just change an attitude that doesn’t work.   It’s often taken years of programming to put it in. That’s why coaches exist.  That’s why people pay to go on self awareness programs.  

Attitude is all

My friend Kayla , a down to earth, laugh a minute gal.   When breast cancer struck her at 32, she told me she looked down at her breast and said  ‘Well matey, you’ve obviously got some message for me.. .what is it?’ 

Instead of labelling this illness as a tragedy, she saw it as an opportunity to evaluate her life and make some changes.  

Filter, Sort and Label- how we create the illusion of ‘reality’

Humans are masters at creating illusion.  We are set up with a sort and filter system that specifices what data we take in and how we organize and label it.  The criteria for what we sort and filter are determined by the beliefs and values that have been insinuated into us from birth and evolved throughout our life.   As you can imagine, we miss a helluva lot of data like this.

So, life happens and our sort and filter system goes into action, followed swiftly by the labelling mechanism.  At the labelling stage we decide , based on a tiny selection of data and a set of mostly skewed belief systems, whether an event is good or bad.

Alicia lived with a violent partner for ten years before she found the courage to leave him and take refuge in a shelter.   Alicia’s upbringing and genetic make up were such that she had grown up to be submissive, eager to please and fearful of strong men.    Her self esteem was at zero.   Enter her former partner like a bee to the nectar sniffing out her weaknesses.   

This was a totally perfect relationship for Alicia.   Later looking back she was able to relabel the relationship.  She told me that the relationship was a catlyst that forced her out of her weakness and stirred up enough strength in her to take charge and take action in her life.     She relabelled from  being a ‘nightmare’ to a powerful  life learning experience

How the Attraction Plan works

Fortunately, with enough self awareness and willingness to evolve, we don’t all have to go through an experience like Alicias to realize what we really want and need.

Attraction planning is not making a wish, saying affirmations and waking up to find Prince or Princess Charming has arrived on your doorstep.  Attraction planning is a very powerful self awareness tool and prompt for change which helps you tune into more of who you are and replaces mixed signals with clear beacons of light.

When you begin to use strategic attraction planning, all kinds of things are revealed to you about you.  Part of the role of an attraction coach is to help you question youself and your desires throughout the process.    Your self awareness is heightened and you begin to home in on the personal qualities that you want to refine.  

Doing the attraction process also serves as a clarity beacon on dates.  Instead of jumping in because one of the qualities you want is predominant, your awareness is focused on your overall needs and thus you become more observant and you make much more considered, less impulsive decisions.  

In my experience, most of the clients I work with on their Attraction Plan have all kinds of imaginary demands and deal breakers which actually limit their choices.  Many people discover through coaching that their desires are either highly materially based or excessively emotionally needy. 

By working through it with a relationship or attraction coach, they learn to evaluate what they think they want and zone in on what is truly important.  They also learn where they are looking for someone to fill in the gaps that they need to fill in themselves.   

A change of sort can reap miracles

A friend of mine called me recently to share the tale of her new romance.  Love her as I do, I have watched her over the years constantly sorting for what I call the  ‘padded wallet’.   Looks weren’t anywhere near as important as the size of his money clip.    I watched and waited for it was not my place to coach her.

She was the kind of girl who had men buying her $500 shoes on a first date without having to do so much as kiss them.       She got exactly what she wanted to attract at the time - rich men who were prepared to empty their wallets because she was just so damned sexy.

I stood by and watched it unfold, seeing her attracting all kinds of very rich but highly unsuitable men, never allowing to surface the true depth of connection and vulnerability that I knew existed in her.    

Hallelujah! I’ve seen the light

Last week she shared with me her epiphany.   ‘Peta’, she said, ‘you won’t believe this.  I’m dating a guy with long hair who works as a carpenter and I went camping with him’.    It was difficult to imagine this of a woman who would have previously had a man lay down his cashmere overcoat for her to walk on before allowing a drop of mud to touch her precious pradas.  

She went on to say ‘You know I used to sort for finance, but something happened and I started to sort for the feeling’.    She’d been so bent on finding a rich man that she had cut off her intuitive feeling sensations.    

Sometimes we just don’t know what’s good for us.  Sometimes we just have to have the experience of a seemingly less than perfect relationship to realize what we really want.  All our relationships are perfect because they are simply small steps on our journey to evolving sufficiently to attracting a deeply satisfying intimate relationship.

How does Attraction Planning help?

When you begin to work on your attraction plan, keep this in mind.  As you write out your ‘wish list’ take the time to go inside and check on your intuitive feelings.  Ask yourself is this really what I want and am I asking for this because I feel personally lacking in this area? Ask youreslf  ‘will this really fulfill me in the deepest sense’

Question Yourself

The great thing about going through the Attract Your Perfect Relationship program is that instead of just writing down a wish list, you are encouraged at every turn to question and refine what you think you want.   And it doesn’t stop at a ‘what you want from them’ wish list.

And as you move through the four steps, you will find yourself evaluating just how worthy you are of what you want.  And you will learn what has to happen for you to attract this. And it will most likely require you to let go of certain personality traits that no longer serve you.

Mirror Mirror

Everything you attract will reflect where you are on your personal evolution timeline.    Be grateful for it, learn from it and let go of what doesn’t serve you.   NEVER ever say ‘if only, I’d done x, y or z’   This is a complete waste of time.  You have NO idea what would have happened if you’d married that guy or not spent ten years with the other.   

One client of mine used to constantly imagine how much better his life would have been if he’d got a degree instead of studying bookeeping.   I told him ‘you could have gone to college, walked across a road to meet the woman of your dreams and been run over by a truck’. 

We cannot know what life will bring us and there is only one thing we can be certain of.  Life has a way of highlighting all our fears and weaknesses.    We have the choice to learn the lesson swiftly or undergo repetitive relationship patterns until we get it.  

You will also be encouraged to reflect on the past week and consider what came up for you, what you noticed about what you’re attracting from the attitude of a store clerk to noticing people looking at you differently.    You learn to read the signs more accurately.

The Attract Your Perfect Relationship program is designed to help you bypass lots of the pain by focusing on what you really need and want and above all, what has to happen for you to attract that kind of bounty.

Check out our 4-part 6 hour attraction program and start attracting now!

with love
peta