Attract Your Perfect Relationship

Archive for the ‘Enneagram’ Category

The 9 Personality types of the Enneagram

There are so many personality style assessments around now, most of which can be dangerous if used without coaching or facilitation.     The danger lies in people putting themselves into the box and saying ‘oh well, this is me, get used to it’ or even worse in wanting to be in another group that appears more attractive.

 I recentlyhad a client do an enneagram assessment, and predictably, he didn’t like the profile he received.   He wanted to be what one school of Enneagram thought calls The Achiever.

In the current  ’strive and succeed’ social paradigm [which is already dying a death] that appears to be the way to go.    B-S.    Our personality, whether it’s that of a high achiever or a helper, is not who we are.   It is a mixture of a mask to cover up who we are and a set of gifts that when harnessed can be of immense and fulfilling value.

Our personality is a set of strategies that we’ve learned in relation to how the world has treated us and what works best.

HOW WE DEVELOP OUR PERSONALITY  - the quick and dirty guide

A child who was always told to be a ‘good little girl/boy’  and criticised for not being up to scratch may end up developing a personality that leads them to seek perfection and is rife with self criticism.

A child who was praised for helping others may develop up a personality whereby it learns that if we give, give, give, we’ll be loved.  

A child who was praisd for achievement, good marks at school, will learn thattheir value lies in material success and their personality will be skewed in that direction.

There are many reasons why we devleop our personalities.. sometimes it’s an abreaction to our parents.   A parent who is a perfectionist matched with a child who is arebel by nature may end up creating the anti-perfectionist… and that’s just one pattern.   

In the same token the influence of a perfectionist parent may lead the child to develop that trait themselves. 

PERSONALITY IN RELATIONSHIP

When we enter an engagement with another, we bring our personality to the table, and it is in that crucible, that often our worst traits are stirred… because our personality traits are like a defence system that says ‘if they know who I really am, they’d hate me’….

Imagine how that affects relationship.  Imagine how when you know about this stuff, you’ll be so much more compassionate with others, and learn to see their behaviors through the lens of  personality, knowing they are just like you in that they have specific  gifts and limitations only in their own unique way.

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO PERSONALITY TYPES AND RELATIONSHIP

This marks the first of a series of portraits of a lover, based on the enneagram personality traits.   

Find out what kind of lover you are and learn how to maximise your own gifts and, equally as important, find out how to understand others and work with their personality to achieve greater rapport and deeper relationship.

with love

peta

http://www.attractyourperfectrelationship.com